Messages You Will Never Read

I’m only sometimes sober when I write you messages you’ll never read;

Silly thoughts and forbidden words that bring me solace you’ll never see

I hide away from terrifying truths for fear of what you’ll think of me

I lie to you, and to myself too – the truth is such an ugly thing

I wear a mask of several layers, just in case you can see through

I wander round earth’s many corners just to stay away from you

And still I circumnavigate the globe to watch you from afar

I’ve known you only in concept; I have no idea who you are

Like religion, I see you only how I would need you to be

But you’re more of a demon than an angel in reality

But that doesn’t discourage me from heathen thoughts or sorcery

I’m closer to hell than heaven, and all you’ve done is encourage me

But not enough, not quite enough to send these messages you’ll never read.