Tag: romance

Malingering

~ Lauren Nicole ~ 2 Comments

I tip toe over broken glass with the same meticulous pace that I distance myself from a broken heart.

One and one don’t always align, and I fear the sound of shattering from a pair mismatched. Like magnets, only the opposite sides attract, but when pulled apart, a bit of myself leaves with you each time.

Under planetary bodies, rising sun and waning moon are no match for the tides that move me pensively in your direction. Were you any more poisonous, I surely still would long for just the slightest taste and suffer the lasting bitterness.

The home of your arms is lined with brambles so shallow they only pierce my skin. Alas, my buoyant heart rests at my surface to bask in the heat in your eyes – vulnerable for those thorns to pierce.

With closed eyes I meander around sharp debris, heart still aching, hoping that things will change. The scars haven’t faded, the pieces of me have not regenerated, and though in my latent pace I hope you return to me, I know that I’m shamefully malingering.

Just a Bunch of Words or Phrases in no Particular Order.

~ Lauren Nicole ~ Leave a comment

Precious silver succumbs to rust and crumbles to dust

In the palm of my hand, I remember what it used to be and I miss your touch

Life stages change over incremental ages

The awkward sprouting of a tree on the face of a mountainside

Lost and humbled, my strong façade has crumbled

I never knew that I needed you this much

Excuses and silly reasons, lies and treason

Back and forth within our own minds all of the time

I speak for myself, and for everyone else

Who has ever had drunken words occupy a sober mind

Can you empathize? Sympathize?

Anything to seem more kind?

I think of you, I dream of you

I hate you and I miss you at the same time

I wonder who really holds my heart?

The thought of being loved, I know

But the moment you embody hope

You become the one I need to hold

Nicotine and liquor make long nights go by quicker

And my patience that had run so thin can run a tad bit thicker

My weakness is my weakness for glimmering eyes and seductive smiles

And for a glimpse at a lustful gaze, I’d travel for many miles

But I won’t malinger on my pen, I’ve exhausted malformed sentences

I had no reason to write this, but I suppose if I was sober

I’d say the same thing in less words –

And also, in less honesty.

 

My Best Dress

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Is jet black, velvet and to the floor

Your eyes ache for a little more

My silhouette saves you from a bore

My neck and hem decorated with lace

For one like you who loves a chase

But your eyes are drawn right to my face

My eyes, my smirk, my mocking

Only exacerbate your craze

It was no mistake.

 

 

Lovesick Night

~ Lauren Nicole ~ 1 Comment

Like a star with its flashing white light, I hope to catch your eyes tonight

The euphoric feel and neurotic pulses will enable the both of us to take flight

Like a star in the deepest satin sky, I hope to draw your sight

I long to be that special star, the only one you see at night

Like a drop of water in the rolling ocean, there are billions of me surrounding you

Like a grain of sand on an ivory coast, there’s not one grain that you love the most

Like a beautiful swan on a still warm lake, I need your admiring gaze as mine to take

Like a porcelain dish from an antique store, cherish me and never break me; simply covet and adore

Like a thorn in a blooming rose bush, I draw blood at the slightest touch

Lend me your curious fingers, and find the soft spots that make me blush

Like a spark on a fading ember, I need to live in your memory

Like a shooting star in a milky dusk, I want to be the one to whom your secrets you entrust

The only one, the special one, I want it to have much more than lust

Like a flower in a field of weeds, I hope for you to save me

From the roots that drag me down and anchor me – I know in your embrace I’m free

I hope to be the flower than you pick and take home, and plant in only the richest of loam

I want to be the chosen, the loveliest blossom that you hold.

Like a star in the midnight sky, there’s a million of me that will catch your eye

I hope you wish on the one that’s right;

Then I’ll believe in love tonight.

Ghost in the Wall

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Like a ghost in the wall, I long for your voice. I’m starving to hear your echo through the halls; to feel vibrations from miles away.

I long for the day that I can hear you say again all of the phrases and all of the words that made me shudder – that made me happy to be heard by your eager ears.

I held you dear. I miss you, dear.

And I miss your bright eyes, and your words so wise they sometimes brought me to tears in being all of the things that I have always been so afraid to hear.

But when delivered to me in your peaceful tone, even my greatest fears made me feel at home while swaddled in your arms.

The distance hasn’t made the sound fade at all even in my memory that waivers as I age….

Oh, I age, and like wine the years only make me a little bit more bitter but more or less worth my own weight in gold.

Still, I love to be your ghost. To never see you and yet to ravenously seek the bits of you you’ll never know, your many facets that you never showed;

You hid from me even in the bright lights of day.

Your voice echos over the ages, over many seasons and over many stages in which our lives play on like staged shows where no one knows what the ending will be,

Not for you, or me. Yet like a ghost in the wall, I watch you.

I yearn for your call to bring me back to life, or your silence to let me haunt you with my aching desire.

I wish to light a spark underneath your skin so intense and burning that when you touch me,

I have no choice but to breathe again – the way you did before I became the ghost in your walls.

Within an Echo Chamber

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A voice so small bounces off the walls

Little whispers, honest lies, I can’t quite hear them all

Gaps in transmission and drops in modulation

All I have are garbled murmurs

Bits and phrases I have my way with

I need you to say this

You’ll never change, you haven’t lied

But I need to be whole inside

You’ll change for me. You’ll be every thing I need

If I want to feel fully alive

That’s not what you said, but it’s in my head

Your voice making me sweat and shake

I need to hear it loud and clear

It’s only for my aching heart’s sake

Be you, but be true, and be only mine

And see me through the darkest of times

When I can’t hear, you disappear

Though you repeated yourself aloud

I did not hear you say good bye

I did not want to hear you say good bye.

I haven’t learned my lesson

~ Lauren Nicole ~ Leave a comment

A rush of blood through the veins

A bolt of lightning to make the heart beat again

Hot tears simmering against eyelids

Cold drops of sweat on feverish skin…

Oh, what I would give to feel again.

I gave heartache the longest break,

A thin layer of frost coated my skin

And I placed chains on all the bits of me within

That ever longed for love.

I clipped the wings of that captured dove

Soundproofed the glass to stifle her song

I doubted I’d miss it after so long,

But now I can’t even recall the sound.

Now, I don’t miss your mischief or your mistresses

I long for steady heart-beats and only tears that accompany a smile

Hope has yet to seem worth-while,

When I remember cold and lonesome December

When ice and snow trapped me with no place to go

Your arms twice as cold, the novelty of me so old

In your fickle heart.

I do dream to the sound of my favorite song,

Of breathing normally after so long –

Inhale, exhale and carry on

With no drugs or no alcohol, just faith in love.

A rush of blood all through my face

Electric pulses resuscitate

Heat of the sun when it’s finally May

Cold chills of excitement; heart, don’t hesitate.

Oh, what I would give to love again.

 

Rainbow Rouse

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Red lipstick makes you think I want you

I wear all black simply to daunt you

With pink flowers to awaken your gaze

And let you imagine my innocent days

Brown eyes to watch you wake

Under heavy lashes, to filter your face

Blue days in a cloudy haze

With white cotton clouds to give us shade

Yellow sun and silver moon

Mixed with the orange and violet late noon

Green grass after the storm

Reminds me that I have no need to mourn

Grey everything; a forecast forlorn

I can’t see your silhouette anymore

Just light and dark shadows in monochrome

And the glistening road where I seek my way home

All of the colors that I know

Couldn’t form a scene where I hold you close

In the damp air, a sunlit rainbow

Promised me the floodgates will close –

I’m still waiting.

 

 

 

 

Oh Star, Die Tonight

~ Lauren Nicole ~ Leave a comment

Upon a glowing satellite I make a morbid wish tonight

With teary eyes, I hope to make a pagan sacrifice on her life

I’ve never seen a star fall, but I confuse the flashing lights of jets

In the midst of their midnight flights, but I’m disappointed by yellow lights

Hear me, clearly, white plasma being in your angelic glow

Fall down from your reign and ease my pain

Use your thousands of years to alleviate my fears

And take your brilliant heat to melt things frozen in my memories

Not unlike you, I want to be born anew

I can’t fight the hurt and lies that have passed before my eyes

I can’t wear away the scars that speckle my skin like black stars

But you… lucky you, you still shine true through the darkest dusk

You have no surface to be succumbed to rust, to negligence or dust

Though in time your flames will explode and you’ll be mine

You’ll fall so rapidly, your tail will spread for miles against the sky

And I’ll be there, I swear, to make my wishes come true

But tonight you live, and I have no use for you

 

Yet I fear the day you pass away, and I’m not there to pray

And ever worse, I fear you’ll pass away

And all of my hopes will dissipate along with your silver flame

I May Be Toxic, But You’re Venomous.

~ Lauren Nicole ~ Leave a comment

I burn at the touch and I make it hard to breathe

I’ll make you so weak you’re unable to leave

Down on your knees, you scramble away

I don’t have the antidote to convince you to stay

I’ve also been feeling rather ill from your bite

It withers my veins as it eats me alive

What’s left of my blood pumps venom into my heart

Now a bruised piece of flesh that is falling apart

It was wonderful when you deeply breathed in my air

Sinking in your teeth with my fingers in your hair

But the aftermath isn’t pretty, I know

Yet not wretched enough to stir your rigid soul

I’m sure that you’ll quickly detoxify the fumes

Breathe in fresh air until your lungs resume

But your poison has turned me into stone

Cold to the touch, heartless and impenetrable.